WTH Advice

Dear Pastor,

Greetings, in the name of the most high, Jesus Christ. I have a problem and I would like your advice. I have this insatiable girlfriend, who always wants sex. I need to know what I can do to please her. I tried Viagra and Cialis but none of them have helped me. Even with all those chemicals and drugs in my body, she still manages to out-do me in bed.

She has Indian in her background, and I can truly say I now know it is true what old people say about Indians and sex. I know you are not going to believe this, but as I am writing this, she is all over me for what she says is her 'tings'. Help me, please.

T.W., Kingston, Jamaica

Dear T.W.,

People talk about Indian women and how they love to have sex, but Indian women don't agree.
It seems to me you can't manage this woman. So, the best thing for you to do is to run. Run like hell. I cannot encourage a young man who is supposed to be healthy and strong, to be using the drugs that you are on to keep up with a young woman who wants to have sex 24/7. These drugs are for men who are suffering from erectile dysfunction. People who use them suffer from side effects. I repeat, healthy men ought not to use them frivolously.

This woman is going to kill you. You don't have the strength to cope with her. What you need is a woman who would not just want to have sex, but would be interested in having you as a husband and both of you would learn not to overdo a good thing.

Right now, your relationship is only sexual, and you cannot manage.

Pastor

**lmao**

Around the Globe

-Public Health: Type 2 Poliovirus Back From The Dead in Nigeria

In 1999, the Global Polio Eradication Initiative scored an unequivocal victory: It wiped one of three serotypes of wild poliovirus, type 2, off the face of the earth, except for samples stored in labs for study or vaccine creation.

That triumph left just two foes to battle: Poliovirus types 1 and 3, which have continued to put up quite a fight. But now a version of type 2 has returned. Springing back to life from a weakened form of the pathogen used in a vaccine, poliovirus type 2 is causing a runaway outbreak in Nigeria, where types 1 and 3 are also raging.

In July, the World Health Organization issued a global alert warning that type 2 poliovirus in Nigeria posed an "increasing risk of international spread." It's a stunning setback for the initiative, now already 9 years past its original deadline for vanquishing the virus.

Source: sciencemag/leslie roberts

*I guess we wont be hearing about this until people start dying in europe or north america...who cares about nigerians dying of polio, right? its just a bunch of poor black people.

fck

-BANGKOK (Reuters) – A Thai court on Tuesday refused to extradite alleged Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout to the United States to face trial on charges of supplying weapons to Colombian rebels.

The U.S. wanted to try Bout, dubbed the "Merchant of Death," for conspiracy to sell millions of dollars of weapons to rebels from the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC). Bout was arrested in a Thai-U.S. sting operation at a Bangkok hotel in March 2008 after arriving from Moscow.

U.S. prosecutors alleged Bout had been trafficking arms since the 1990s, using a fleet of cargo planes to send weapons to Africa, South America and the Middle East. Bout is alleged to have sold or brokered arms deals that have helped fuel wars in Afghanistan, Angola, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Liberia, Rwanda, Sierra Leone and Sudan.

The character played by Nicholas Cage in the 2005 movie "Lord of War" is loosely based on the Russian's alleged exploits. A British minister labeled him "a merchant of death." He has denied involvement in the illegal arms trade and has maintained he was only involved in cargo transportation.

-SYDNEY (AP) - Thousands of camels in Australia's remote Outback could be killed by marksmen in helicopters under a government proposal aimed at cutting down the population of the havoc-wreaking animals.

First introduced into Australia in the 1840s to help explorers travel through the Australian desert, there are now about 1 million camels roaming the country, with the population doubling every nine years.

The federal government set aside 19 million Australian dollars for a program to help slash the population. Besides sending in sharpshooters in helicopters and on foot, officials are considering proposals to turn some of the creatures into tasty treats such as camel burgers.

Tony Peacock, CEO of the University of Canberra's Invasive Animals Cooperative Research Center, said a cull was the most effective method. "To be shot from a helicopter is actually quite humane, even though that sounds brutal," he said. "If I was a camel, I'd prefer to just get it in the head."

*smmfh @ this statement.

Eye on the Globe

-Turkmenistan has launched the latest stage of a plan to channel water across thousands of kilometres of desert to create a vast inland sea. The lake will be filled with drainage water from the country's cotton fields.

President Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov said the "Golden Age Lake" plan showed his country was preserving nature and improving the environment.

But critics say the water will be full of fertiliser and insecticides, and will evaporate quickly.

The project is one of the biggest and most ambitious in the world, and could cost up to $20bn ($7 billion usd).

President Berdymukhamedov opened up the first tributary to bring water to a natural depression in the Karakum Desert. The desert covers more than 80% of Turkmenistan.
He told the crowd that the lake would make the desert bloom.

-BEIJING - More people now go online in China than there are people in the United States.

The country's rapid economic growth and expansion of Internet access in more areas has fueled a sharp increase in Internet users, totaling 338 million by the end of June, a government-sanctioned research group said.

The latest U.S. Census Bureau's figure says the population of the U.S. is just under 307 million. China's population is more than 1.3 billion.

China's population of Internet users has been growing at explosive rates despite government efforts to block access to material deemed subversive or pornographic.

-Brazilian police are investigating after 64 containers with more than 1,400 tonnes of hazardous UK waste were found in three of the country's ports.

The authorities say that among the material which was brought in illegally they discovered batteries, syringes, condoms and nappies. Since the initial discovery, another 25 containers with hospital waste were found, also apparently from England.

In a statement the British Embassy in Brazil promised "immediate steps". It said the UK was completely opposed to any kind of illegal trade in waste.

Public resentment over the issue increased when it was revealed that inside one of the containers was a collection of dirty toys with a note in Portuguese saying they should be washed before being given to "poor Brazilian children".

Ninja vs Beenie

Desmond Balentine aka Ninja Man is a Jamaican reggae artist. He is controversial and talented; he has been through a lot of hardship in his life but he seems to be on solid ground now. He speaks his mind and takes no prisoners. Ninja Man is my first crush, I still love this man (I can still here my mom say: eehee him ugly sah) but to me, he’s the man!

Ninja man-the original gold-teeth, front-teeth, don gorgon had some choice words for betweenie bwoy, ahem I mean beenie man….

Ninja says: Beenie Man a di biggest hypocrite, laugh an’ skin teeth wid man like him an’ dem a fren wen him in front a dem, but chat a bag tings behine dem back.

Ninja on Sting: A dun Beenie Man era dun now. Him fi jus gwaan record music fi him gran’ pickney listen to. A Mavado an’ Vybz Kartel a di new generation an him cyaan accept that suh him haffi fine a way fi get in a dem ting. Him jus deh pon one stage…dancehall, all afta him get di Grammy.

Ninja had a few words for dancehall artist Merciless: Merciless jus a come back an’ a try fi put together some lyrics fi eat a food, wah dem waan mi kill him off agen fah wen mi kill him so much time aready. Mi nuh haffi have nuh lyrics fi test Leonard. Mi jus look pon how di audience a respond an’ fine di right thing weh fi conneck an’ kill people.

Ninja goes for the jugular: Since Beenie Man feel like sey Merciless a deejay, Merciless dead a Jam World, bury a Negril a Spring Break and tomb inna him own birthday bash a Clarendon. Like how him come back now as the seven golden vampires, yuh Beenie Man remember say that I am Peter Cushing…a gwain peg him inna him heart wid a silver cross. Him muss bun up,”

Again to the jugular: Hey bwoy Beenie Man, if yuh bad like mi boot heel, yuh and Merciless step inna Follow Di Arrow meck a peg him an kill yuh. If mi nuh ketch yuh a Follow Di Arrow, anyway yuh deh I am coming to get yuh. Waste time a meck mischief and fight fi bi number one at all time. Yuh badmind thru yuh cyaan teck mi title like how yuh teck Yellow Man own ‘bout yuh a ‘king a the dancehall’

Ninja have a question: Mi waan fi ask Beenie Man couple questions. If yuh feel like sey mi doan have a career and tunes fi face Merciless, why when mi tell the public sey mi want him Beenie Man, Bounty Killa, Mavado and Vybz Kartel one time, why him nevva push up him chest like how yuh feel me nuh have nuh career?

Warning: when he said 'kill' he doesn't mean to literally kill somebody....its a reggae dancehall clash term which means to lyrically get the upperhand and be the crowd favorite.

This language is called Patois aka broken english.

Yaad News

-Ida Louise Gordon, affectionately known as Miss Ida of Devon in Lime Tree Garden, St Ann, is officially 112 years old, according to the Registrar General's Department (RGD), the country's registrar of births, marriages and deaths.

However, Miss Ida insists she was born 10 years earlier on November 5, 1886, the date she has been holding on to ever since The Gleaner first published an article about her in 2003.

"We have gone through the records and we found that this family is a cultivating family. Miss Ida is from the second generation of newly freed slaves," said Holness.

However, even at 112, Miss Ida is one of the oldest persons in Jamaica. According to Holness, she is the second-oldest person on record locally.

-King Juan Carlos I and Queen Sophia of Spain visited Spanish Town, St Catherine - Jamaica on February 19, 2009.

Spanish Town once served as Jamaica's capital from 1655 to 1872.

During Wednesday's tour, the king and queen were presented with the keys to the old capital by Mayor Andrew Wheatley.

-A 16-year-old student of the Petersfield High School was stabbed to death yesterday, during an argument over a boy in Savanna-la-Mar, Westmoreland - Jamaica.

The 16 year old was stabbed and killed with a scissors by a 15-year-old, who is now in police custody.

sad.